Why are there many couples that are happily celebrating their 50th Golden Anniversary, and yet do not go to church, claim any religion or walks with God, let alone having an Apostolic experience?

It is not because of a super-spiritual disposition, or just simply the "Grace of God". God's grace and mercy always plays a role in each and every life in the world.

But the answer will surprise and shake the heads of the oh-so-spiritual, nod the heads of others, and give a "hmm. O, I get it!" to yet others.

The answer is simple. They have learned the principals of marriage and relationship, and it does has fallen into a scapegoat of spirituality or religion.

Believe it or not, marriage and relationships are not fully based on Pentecostal principals. Learn this: Being Apostolic will affect every part of your life; including your marriage: BUT... it will NEVER take the place of human-to-human understanding and learning. Our bible tells us to "dwell with our spouse with knowledge..." To many it may be a spiritual shock, but no amount of prayer, fasting, worship, speaking in tongues, studying, etc. will be a substitute on actually doing and learning how to love your wife or husband they way that THEY need to be loved. It is not just a spiritual "love of God".

The movie Fireproof was very good, and yes it emotionally touched many couple's hearts. But it did not address many basic marital needs that go unmet that is in the name of "Spirituality".

You can be on-fire, Apsotolic, juiced-up for Jesus, and so anointed that you slip in your own anointing oil; yet your marriage or relationship completely fail. And to add, it had NOTHING to do with God's anointing, your righteousness or walk with God. It boils down to the "here and now" and "learning" how to love your wife or fiance, or whomever. Even pre-marrital relationships need to learn these things before marriage.

Our old pastor in Oregon once told us that he NEVER gives pre-marrital counseling to couples. He actually waits 4-6 weeks AFTER they are married to counsel them. Most of the time, they will end up coming into his office. We were shocked to hear this! This was a new twist on pastoral care and pre-marrital counseling. He turned to us, with a grin on his face and said that the reason he does this, is because the couples are usually so in love, emotionally, that they don't hear a word he tells them. It's all about emotions, and dreams and any form of counsel or help goes straight out the window. But in about 4-6 weeks, when the land back on earth, THEN they come knocking on the pastor's door, needing to talk.

How many of you can say to yourself, "That's me!" Well, it works the same way. So many young couples, even older ones, have the perspective that if God is moving in my life, or our relationship, or the pastor and family has blessed us and our union, etc. etc. yada yada, then all will be fine. But that is so not the case.

There are many, many things to learn about marriage and relationships, that out of personal hardships and experience, I pray that some Apostolic who reads this will endeavor to receive these marriage minutes and use them to grow in grace and understanding.